No, I’m not talking about the eternal pain of hell; I’m referring to the enduring flames of married love. The fire in the marital fireplace transcends this life.
In my final message in the HOMEFIRES series, I talked about four stages of married love - Young Love, the Middle Years, the Empty Nest, and the Golden Years. But there is another stage that some of us will experience. I was reminded of that fact by a letter I received from Dr. Calvin Turpin, whose wife Eudell passed away three years ago. Here’s the letter which is as good a description of the final stage of HOMEFIRES as I could possibly imagine. I use it with Dr. Turpin’s permission.
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Dear Pastor,
I write to thank you for your beautiful and thought provoking sermon last Sunday. I proudly validate the Biblical truths I heard in “Keep the Homefires Burning.” I wish that message could be heard all across America because I think many marriages could be either strengthened or saved.
I would like to share a couple of things I have learned since the passing of my beloved Eudell. We were married 63 years before God elevated her to higher glories than this world can ever know. First, I have found that love does not die with death. I can never remember a time that I did not love Eudell. Perhaps you will remember that I moved next door to her when I was six years old. She has been in my life and heart since I first saw her almost 80 years ago. In just a few months it will be three years since you brought her beautiful memorial message. Since her death my love for her has continued to grow. I love her more than at any other time in our relationship. I say again love does not die with death.
I have discovered an additional truth: a sense of nearness need not diminish with distance. Her ashes rest in the family plot in the Romance Arkansas Cemetery. However, a sense of her presence lingers near. I sense her presence much like I sense the presence of God in the church and in my daily living. To me it is real! Her marker may be far away, but she is near. For that I am grateful.
Again, I thank you for your loving and supportive ministry. Your contributions to my life are beyond measure. You and the church will continue to remain in my daily prayers. I remain,
Your colleague in ministry,
Calvin C. Turpin
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I heard the poem below by A. K. Rowswell in 1966. These melancholy words made a deep impression on a college freshman.
Should You Go First
Should you go first and I remain
To walk the road alone,
I'll live in memory's garden, dear,
With happy days we've known.
In Spring I'll wait for roses red,
When fades the lilac blue,
In early Fall, when brown leaves call
I'll catch a glimpse of you.
Should you go first and I remain
For battles to be fought,
Each thing you've touched along the way
Will be a hallowed spot.
I'll hear your voice, I'll see your smile,
Though blindly I may grope,
The memory of your helping hand
Will buoy me on with hope.
Should you go first and I remain
To finish with the scroll,
No lenght'ning shadows shall creep in
To make this life seem droll,
We've known so much of happiness,
We've had our cup of joy,
And memory is one gift of God
That death cannot destroy.
Should you go first and I remain,
One thing I'd have you do:
Walk slowly down that long, long path,
For soon I'll follow you.
I'll want to know each step you take
That I may walk the same,
For some day down that long, long road
You'll hear me call your name.
- A.K. Rowswell
The fact that love for a mate transcends their death has been discussed frequently. In his autobiography, the great19th century preacher Lyman Beecher spoke of his love for his first wife: "I am still blessed in a beloved wife. But I rejoice that affection for the living does not obliterate the memory, the precious memory of the dead, or supersede a love stronger than death for the companion of my early years, and that this tenderness is one also that practices no fraud upon the rights of the living whom God has most mercifully given me" (The Autobiography of Lyman Beecher, v. 1, p. 287).
Jesus taught us that there is no marriage in heaven. But as long as we are alive we will love our mates - even if they have already graduated to the honors of heaven. The Bible does not tell us what our relationships will be like in heaven; but we will know each other even though we will not be married. I suppose we can conclude that there is something better than marriage. We’ll have to wait to get to heaven to know what that is!
Next time I bring a message on the phases of marriage, I will include Dr. Turpin’s reminder that there is a final phase of love even after our mate passes. Thank you for the powerful reminder, Dr. Turpin.
Pastor Alan Day, Senior Pastor
Posted on
Fri, May 21, 2010
by Alan Day, Senior Pastor
filed under