As I write these words, I am (as they say where I come from) “smack dab in the middle” of a couple of anniversaries. July 6 marked the 62nd anniversary of my birth. I don’t remember the event, but I suppose it was significant—to my mother, at least. She had a very difficult labor and delivery and I was born by caesarian section. Although she died when I was only six years old, I can feel her love today. As a little boy I sensed she was crazy about me. The little boy in me today is still conscious of her warm affection.

The other anniversary is one of those “milestones” that necessitates a little extra celebration. This month Edmond’s First Baptist Church will recognize Alice and me for 25 years of service with them. I started preaching the gospel over 45 years ago as a teenager. I was licensed to preach at age 17. I began to pastor 40 years ago. Twenty-five years ago we moved to Edmond. The rest is, as they say, “history.”

I don’t know how to evaluate the past 25 years. Consequently, I prefer to simply assume the same frame of mind as the Apostle Paul:

“A person should consider us in this way: as servants of Christ and managers of God’s mysteries. In this regard, it is expected of managers that each one be found faithful. It is of little importance that I should be evaluated by you or by a human court. In fact, I don’t even evaluate myself. For I am not conscious of anything against myself, but I am not justified by this. The One who evaluates me is the Lord. Therefore don’t judge anything prematurely, before the Lord comes, who will both bring to light what is hidden in darkness and reveal the intentions of the hearts. And then praise will come to each one from God.” (1 Cor 4:1-5 HCSB)

Paul referred to himself as a “servant” and a “manager.” As a servant he had no rights and as a manager he owned no property. Neither his time nor his relationships nor even his ministry were his; he owned nothing and he controlled nothing. He was a manager who oversaw someone else’s property.

How was he doing at the time he wrote this first epistle to the Corinthians? Was he successful? Was he “getting the job done”? Paul himself would not hazard an opinion on that question. He was aware that there would be a future day when he and all of God’s servants would render an account before the Lord and would be properly honored for their faithfulness. “I don’t evaluate myself,” he wrote. He was willing to wait until he stood before the Lord to learn the true value of his service to Christ.

That is a good way for a minister—or any believer—to live.

I have had more than my share of accolades and honors. I do not despise the tributes that people have given to me. I treasure every expression of appreciation that has flowed to me from the precious people whom I have served as pastor for these past decades. There have been countless letters, gifts, plaques, cards, and warm fuzzies through these years. I have been blessed by them all—especially by the drawings that little children have given me (usually a picture of me in the pulpit!).

Although these commendations and accolades are not without meaning—they are not what really matters. Paul said that “The One who evaluates me is the Lord.” He commented that he was going to wait until he stood before the Lord to learn whether he was successful or not.

Paul had the humility and wisdom to refuse indulging in speculation about what was the true value of his service to Christ. Of course he maintained a clear conscience—“For I am not conscious of anything against myself.” But he understood that his thoughts were not God’s thoughts. Self-justification is only for the arrogant, Paul reasoned. He refused to play that game. He would wait until “the Lord comes.” Only then will the quality of Paul’s—or my—ministry be made known.

Another similar sentiment is found in the writings of the Apostle Peter.

“Therefore, as a fellow elder and witness to the sufferings of the Messiah, and also a participant in the glory about to be revealed, I exhort the elders among you: shepherd God’s flock among you, not overseeing out of compulsion but freely, according to God’s [will] ; not for the money but eagerly; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.” (1 Peter 5:1-4 HCSB)

“Elder” is another term for the office we usually refer to as “pastor.” The position I have held in Edmond for the past 25 years has been that of pastor-teacher, elder, and overseer. As a pastor-teacher, I have tried to feed and tend the sheep. As an elder, I have attempted to model maturity and wisdom. As an overseer, my goal has been to lead, guide, and motivate the congregation to serve the Lord Jesus with total devotion.

Peter’s words remind me that my service should have been motivated by no other compulsion but the will of God, by no other incentive but spiritual passion, and by no other spirit but that of exemplary humility. He concludes, like Paul, by informing those who serve as elders, pastors, and overseers to wait until “the chief Shepherd appears” when He will honor those who have served faithfully.

I suppose it’s a good thing to remember birthdays and to recognize anniversaries as long as we keep in mind what the Lord said through Isaiah: “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not My ways.” (Isaiah 55:8 HCSB) In other words, it’s alright to take a glance backward now and then to see where we’ve been and what we’ve done. That’s OK. But we dare not compare ourselves to anyone else or speculate about how much good we’ve actually accomplished. Only the Lord knows that. Only the Lord has wisdom enough to evaluate the quality of our ministries. Only He knows why we did what we did? Only He knows whether we gave everything to Him or whether we kept part of ourselves from the Lord’s control.

I appreciate the esteem, love, and honors given to me by the people of Edmond’s First Baptist. In all honesty and sincerity, however, the only opinion that really matters is the one I won’t fully know until the day I stand before Jesus and lay it all down at His blessed feet. I look forward to that day.

Pastor Alan Day